Bleach my Straw Hat Black
by INAddict
Summary: Same story, new cast and an adapted plot. Watch as high school student Kurosaki D. Luffigo learns how to battle hollows armed with nothing but a giant sword, a highly strung teacher and a perverted Teddy. Please review and criticize, my first story.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Death and the Straw-Hat**

It was an almost normal day in the life of Karakura High school student Kurosaki D. Luffigo, but it just so happens that a normal day in his life involved him kicking somebody's ass. I say almost normal because it wasn't an ass he was kicking, it was a face. That and it was more of a downward stamp than a kick.

'What the hell you doin' to big bro Morgan?' shouted a rather generic looking member of the Marine gang of downtown Karakura. Luffigo simply looked at the punk while continuing to stamp the giant thugs head further and further into the pavement. This pissed off the Marine gang member enough to charge straight at Luffigo who simply swung his stomping leg forward and let the idiot run straight into it.

'You bastards,' shouted the schoolboy, pointing behind him towards a lamp post at a knocked over bottle of water with some flowers spilled out of it next to a lamp post. 'What the hell do you think that is?'

One of the freaked out Marine gang members, noticing he was the closest of the remaining people still standing since this freak showed up, tried to calm him down. 'Isn't it a memorial for that kid that got ran over a few days ago?'

Suddenly Luffigo appeared in front of the punk and uppercut him a few feet, leaving only two gang members left standing.

'And who the hell knocked it over?'

The last two members simply hugged each other and cried until they felt the force of Luffigo's kick smash across their faces.

'Pick these jerks up and get them the hell out of here' shouted Luffigo with such anger that he seemed to glow. Needless to say the three generic hooligan youths picked up their oversized and thoroughly disfigured leader and ran like hell.

'Thank you for that, Luffigo' came a small voice near the lamp post.

'No need' said the smiling hero turning round. 'They just pissed me off is all, and I told you to call me Luffy.'

Oh yeah did I forget to tell you that this girl he's talking to is the one who got killed and that Luffy has the ability to see and talk to ghosts? Maybe I should have 'cos its kind of important later on.

'I'll bring you some new ones tomorrow' he said to the small little girl who was see through and had a chain coming out of her chest.

Suddenly a huge explosion happened around the corner and they ran round and were staring face to face with a giant freaky looking lizard monster with a mask on and a hole in its chest.

The small ghost girl was frozen solid in fear looking at this thing. She turned to look at Luffy. He was standing there cracking his knuckles then turned to look at her, 'Want me to kick this things ass now?' Apparently he _was_ just that stupid.

She simply grabbed him and run away from the giant monster as fast as she could.

Out of nowhere a girl dressed in a weird black cosplay outfit with a katana jumped in front of it and cut its face in half. The monster seemed to dissolve in mid-air.

'Hey!' Luffy shouted at the girl in black but before he could call out to her the ghost-girl dragged him around the corner and then four or five more blocks before she let go of him. When they finally caught their breath Luffy would have went back to look for the cool sword girl but he noticed that he was late at getting home for dinner and ran off back to his house.

Luffy's home was a local health clinic at the front and had a house built on the back where he lived with his family.

As Luffy entered the kitchen he was entranced by the smell of food and so didn't notice the ballet slipper flying towards his face and smashing him halfway across the room.

'I shall call that kick "Misspent days of a Youth about to Bloom into a Flower a Manliness". Now what time do you call this my little Mugi-chan?' asked Luffy's father Kurosaki Bentham (known to his patients as Dr 2 because he was the second best doctor in Karakura town). His question was answered by the fist of his firstborn slamming into his face and throwing him face first into the kitchen cupboards.

'Don't call me that Dad, how would you like it if I called you Bon-chan? Besides I was late because I was helping a ghost out again.'

'By that he means he was beating up a local gang again probably.' said Luffy's sister Kurosaki Aisa, the older of the two twins.

'I wish I could see ghosts and help them like you could Luffy.' said the younger twin Kurosaki Aisa. 'I can only see their outlines and feel their presence.'

'You shouldn't believe in things like ghosts Rika.' said Aisa, who could see ghosts as clearly Luffy. 'If you don't believe in them they go away and stop bothering you.'

'That's cold!' protested Rika.

'Well anyway something weird did happen while I was with that ghost' said Luffy. 'After I was done fighting you wont believe what I seen! There was this girl dressed in…' but Luffy was interrupted mid-sentence by his father tackling him from behind and grabbing him in a wrestling hold.

'Alas, it is the time in a fathers life when his child becomes a man. As a doctor I will make sure you get all the protection you need.' This resulted in Luffy swinging an elbow towards his fathers face. 'Or maybe you were interested in her dress. You know I will love you no matter what, even if you sway from the path of a man or towards the path of a woman, as long as you stay on the path of a human I will support you with all my heart.'

'Nope. Your still the only man in the family that does that kind of thing.' said Aisa, knowing full well that their father would use any excuse, such as Halloween, fancy dress parties or even a Saturday night out with the boys, to dress in women's clothing. Just then Luffy finally broke free of his fathers grasp and hoisted him over his head before slamming him down on the ground with his full strength.

'Forget it.' said Luffy. 'I'm not that hungry anymore, I'll just grab a snack' and at that he picked up the plate in the centre of the table that had a full chicken pizza on it and a bowl that was full to the brim with noodles. They were eating take-out as usual because Rika was the only one in the house that took an interest in cooking, but her bad habit of mixing-up salt and sugar resulted in more than one ruined dinner.

'I'm worried about Luffigo' said Rika. 'He's barely eating tonight. He also told me he has been seeing more ghosts than usual too.'

'He tells you those kinds of things?' Kurosaki senior picked himself up and threw himself at a nearby wall that was adorned with a giant poster of the children's dearly departed mother. 'Oh Makino my love, where did I go wrong?' he chocked through tears.

'Where did she go wrong to wind up with a guy like you, more like.' said Aisa. At this her father just howled more incessantly than before.

Now is as good a time as any to give a brief description of our protagonist. He was 15 almost 16 years old and was rather on the skinny side, but despite this he still had a rather athletic figure on him making him look hot for the fan girls in his many up and coming shirtless scenes. His hair was bright orange and rather messy, as if he always wore a hat on his head, which is weird seeing as he hadn't worn a hat in many years. One of his most distinguishing features of his and the one that made him seem a delinquent in others eyes was a long scar that ran across his left cheek. It was a memento of the day he lost his mother

Luffy was lying down on his bed in the dark just looking at his ceiling thinking back to that monster and that girl that fought it. What exactly were they? Were they ghosts? Was the girl a human? Was the thing a monster? Or were they something else entirely? Unfortunately Luffy wasn't too bright and thinking too hard like this gave him a head-ache. The ghost girl from earlier was also rather freaked out and had floated up into Luffy's room looking for somewhere to hide. She was currently making the most of being in a boys room and was trying to look for the dirty magazines that she heard were always in boys rooms. Her head was currently passing through Luffy's desk looking inside his drawers but had only found some metro sexual clothing and some manga comics that were full of fight scenes, especially one about a rather annoying orange ninja that she was baffled in the appeal of. Come on, she thought, what kind of idiot always calls out their attack just before they do it. Weren't they supposed to be stealthy?

At this point a black butterfly flew in front of Luffy's face and caused him to sit up. He turned his head left and there, standing on his open window frame, was the same strange sword-girl he had seen earlier. The words 'It's nearby' came from her mouth.

It was the first time he could clearly see what she looked like. She was quite short, about the same height Luffigo who wasn't exactly the tallest of his friends, and she had quite a slim and slight figure. Her chest was next to non-existent compared to the girls he knew. Her skin was pale and soft as if she spent a lot of time looking after her appearance but her hands were calloused and rough from often holding the katana that hung by her waist. She was wearing a kind of samurai era kimono-jacket-type-thing that Luffy was told were called a kosode and some of those hakama trousers that you saw samurai wear in the old movies, and both pieces of clothing were black in colour. Luffy was still assuming that she was dressed up in a cosplay outfit but since it wasn't an anime series that involved giant transforming robots shooting beams at each other then Luffy wasn't that interested in it. Her eyes were large and round and black, and her hair was light blue and pulled back into a ponytail at the top of her head and with a few strands left loose at the front to form bangs either side of her face.

The girl stepped down from his window frame and entered his room, looking left and right but never once sparing a second glance at Luffy lying on his bed. She moved towards the ghost who was in Luffy's room with a determined look on her face and the girl had also noticed her and had huddled herself into the corner of Luffy's room. The sword-girl withdrew her sword from her sheath and said 'It's time to end this' and swung her sword towards the girl but before anything else could happen she felt a sharp impact in her chest and looked down just in time to see Luffy's knee stuck in her stomach before his elbow came crashing down on the back of her neck knocking her to the ground.

'If you came here to steal my food your too late!!!' shouted an angry Luffy pointing at his desk where the empty plate's lay on top along with several candy bar wrappers. The blue-haired sword-girl was clutching her side and tried to pull herself up from Luffy's floor. She had a confused look on her face as she had no idea what he was talking about. Something about stealing his food. But in her mind there was something more shocking than being called a food-thief.

'You can see me? You can touch me?'

'Course I can. I'm not gonna stand by and let you come in here and try to steal my food, sword or no sword.' At this he rolled back his right sleeve and balled his hand up into a fist.

'Wait, wait, wait! I'm not a food thief!' His fist unclenched slightly and she knew she now had a chance to explain herself. She basically told him that she was a shinigami (sort of like a grim reaper but with a sword) from a place called soul society whose duty it was to send souls to the afterlife and to fight monsters called hollows that ate the souls of the dead.

After explaining this several times and getting nowhere with the idiot she had to resort to illustrations to try to explain. 'I understand now' said Luffy slamming his fist into an open palm, his eyes barely millimetres away from the Shinigami's drawings of bunny ghosts. 'You're a mystery ghost!' he exclaimed smiling to himself. 'But you know you could use some better drawings than those.' He held up in front of him a picture that could possibly have been done by a three year old. It was of a black stick figure (probably meant to be her) standing in front of a bed sheet with the eyes cut out like a child would draw a ghost, and was facing off against a giant floating face that had way too many teeth for its mouth. It was also surprising that the entire thing was done in crayon and that he had trouble colouring inside the lines.

'You think your ones any better' shouted the blue haired girl, punching him on the top of his head.

The ghost-girl in the corner of the room could no longer stifle her laughter and burst out laughing 'You both suck, Ahahahahaha!' This brought the sword girl's attention back to her as she turned and seen the ghost stuffing her fist into her mouth to try to control herself.

'Its time to send you to soul society now' she said smiling at the ghost. 'Don't worry, its not scary and your life over there is almost always better than in this world.' The ghost backed-off a little until she felt a pressure on the back of her head and turned to Luffy patting her head. He was smiling and had a confident look in his eyes. He nodded and as he did so ans the confidence in his eyes flowed into hers. The hilt of the sword was pressed against her head and a light surrounded her. She seemed to sink into the floor until she vanished completely in the light and a small black butterfly emerged from the light and flew away out the window, the light on the floor fading away and vanishing.

'COOL!!!' exclaimed Luffy with what seemed to be actual stars in his eyes. The sword-girl in his room looked towards him and smiled. As infuriating and childish as he was there was something captivating about being near him, something infectious.

'You know, if the average Japanese school boy learned about hollows and soul society they might have a crisis of faith or argue that its impossible with that person.'

'Ahh well.' Luffy just shrugged and stuffed his pinkie up his nose and twiddled it about, routing about for something interesting. This one was definitely a weird one. Hopefully not all the people in the real world were like this.

'Can I ask you something?' She turned to face the strange schoolboy. 'Are you alive or dead?'

'Well I'm dead. I thought I told you that.' Luffy leaned in close with his chin in his hand and looked the girl up and down. 'Why do you ask'

'Well all the other ghosts I've seen had chains hanging from their chests.' Luffy reached over and pulled open her kosode and was looking at the centre of her chest for signs of a metal plate and chain.

'What are you doing you jerk' yelled the girl punching him. She hastily covered herself up. 'Don't open up my clothes like that. Shinigami don't have chain's of fate. You shouldn't be looking there, you pervert. I'm the younger sister of the head of the Kuchiki Household and Squad 6 captain.'

'So that's what the chain thing is called.' A few moments passed before Luffy realised he had almost pulled a girl's shirt open. 'Aaaahhhgggghhh. What did I do.' He ran over to the corner and crouched in the dark. He could already hear what his best friend would say when he heard that. He covered his eyes and ears with his hands and rocked on his heels. 'I saw nothing, I felt nothing.'

The girl was thoroughly shocked by this turn of events. She could tell he was so innocent that the thought had probably never crossed his mind what he was doing. But it was strange how scared he was by the mere thought of a female chest. It was rather shocking.

While Luffy was having a mini-freak-out a beeping sound came from the blue-haired girls pockets. She pulled out a mobile phone shaped device from which hung a cartoon duck strap. She opened it and a gasp escaped from her mouth. 'A hollow is nearby, but there is so much interference nearby that I have no idea where it is.'

Luffigo picked himself up from his sorry state. 'Did you hear that?'

'What?'

A loud roar shattered the windows in the room. It must be just outside. She decided to quickly cast a binding spell on the idiot so he wouldn't rush out and do anything stupid. The bakudo number one spell would work fine. 'Sai' she said as she swung her arm in front of her and she watched as Luffy's arms locked behind him.

As she went to open the door it was pushed from outside and Luffigo's younger sister Rika fell in the room. She had a cut on her head and was bleeding quite badly from it. 'Luffy, help! Aisa's in trouble!' she said just before she passed out.

The blue-haired girl jumped over Rika and ran down the stairs to see a hole in the kitchen wall, through which she could see a large hollow with Aisa in its hands. Behind her she could hear the sound of Luffy tumbling down the stairs, still with his arms bound behind him.

'Don't try to fight it. A human won't be able to do a thing against the likes of a hollow.'

'Screw that. It's got my sister.' Suddenly all around Luffigo went black and strange glowing runes appeared floating around his body. She realised what he was doing. He was using his own soul to try to destroy the binding spell. Before she could say anything the runes around him dissolved and in the blink of an eye he grabbed a chair and ran out and smashed it across the giant monsters face. It barely even flinched. It swung the arm with Aisa in it at him and sent him tumbling down the street. Suddenly it seemed to lose interest in the girl in its hand. It was walking slowly towards him. The way it was looking at him …. it couldn't be. It must. It was him. He was the reason it was attacking this house. He was the reason that hollow appeared downtown earlier. His spiritual pressure was what caused the interference with her phone earlier. His spiritual pressure must be beyond human capability.

'Run! Its after you!'

But as Luffy realised this was true he knew what he must do. He wouldn't let anything happen to his family. Not again. This was why he had trained so hard to become stronger. If he couldn't save his family with his body he would save them with his soul. He dragged himself up and stood in front of the monster and threw out his arms. He would rather die than lose someone close to him again. 'Come and get me' he screamed at the lumbering giant.

As it dashed forward towards him it threw open its mouth and made to rip him in half. Before it could the black-clothed blue-haired shinigami threw herself in front of it and cut into its masked face. Unfortunately it had managed to gouge out a large part of her shoulder with its teeth. It dropped Aisa out of its hands and disappeared. Luffy ran over and after making sure Aisa was okay he went over to see how the girl was from the looks of it she couldn't move her left arm or even walk much never mind fight off the monster.

'You fool.' she coughed. 'Even if it ate you it wouldn't stop there and would devour your family anyway. We only have one chance left to stop that thing.' She held her sword in front of her. 'You must stab yourself in the heart with my zanpakuto so I can transfer some of my spiritual power to you so you can fight it.'

'Couldn't I just take your sword and use that?'

'No, dammit. Now shut up, stop being emo and stab yourself goddamit!'

'Fine!' He grabbed the blade of the sword and moved it above his heart. By now the monster had reappeared and was running down the street towards them. 'Just tell me one thing. What is your name shinigami-lady?'

'Its Kuchiki Vivi.'

'Cool. Mine's Kurosaki D. Luffigo. Nice to meetcha.'

As the monster neared them it swung down its fist as Luffy plunged the blade into his heart. A bright light engulfed Luffy and before the monster could hit it a large cut appeared on it and its arm fell off.

From Vivi's point of view Luffy had appeared behind it out of nowhere holding a giant sword in his hand (that looked suspiciously like a buster sword) and dressed in the same sort of outfit she was wearing earlier on. She looked down at herself and seen her black outfit had disappeared and she was in a white one. Her powers had all been drained. What kind of human could take all of her power? What kind of human could see and touch shinigami? What kind of human could crush a kido spell with just his spirit? What kind of person could wield a zanpakuto so large? And why did his shihakusho uniform include a black wide-brimmed hat with a white ribbon around it.

The monster thrashed in pain and once more threw a punch towards Luffy, this time with its remaining arm, but Luffy rolled under the giant fist and swung the blade above his head cutting its second arm off. As it threw back its head in pain, Luffy dashed passed it and swung his giant sword at its knee, cutting off its left leg.

As the monster lost balance it fell forward and Luffy raised his blade above his head. 'This is for messing with my family!!!' he yelled as he swung the blade down one more time, bisecting the creatures masked face in half and causing the beast to dissolve in the air. He had done it. He won. He killed it.

'Wahoo' he yelled at the top of his voice, celebrating and jumping up and down. Then it seemed he finally noticed the giant blade in his hand and his eyes turned to stars once more. 'Oh my god this thing is soooo COOL! I kick ass!'

While Vivi was watching this turn of events she sat in shocked silence until a repeated prodding in her back caused her to turn round and see she was being poked by a cane. A cane held by a rather strange looking red-haired man in green clothing, a dark green coat, large wooden sandals and a straw hat made of green and white straw that looked strangely similar to the black hat that was on top of Luffy's head at this very moment. He leaned over in close to her and tipped his hat to her.

'Hey there Miss Kuchiki. Need a hand with that body of yours?' he asked stretching his hands towards her and wriggling his fingers. This got him a kick to the face and sent Vivi running away down the street. After he wiped the blood off his nose he ran after her shouting 'I meant do you want a new Gigai. I'll make sure it's nice and smooth. C'mon wait up. Wait.' At that he set off after her disappearing outing on the horizon. Luffy never noticed this because he was trying to figure out where that Hazel Fernandez music was coming from.

Meanwhile, a dimension away, the recently promoted green haired Lieutenant of squad 6 has arrived in 13th division and was searching for Vivi to tell her the good news.

'She left at noon, you fool' said the white haired Captain of squad 13, sitting on the porch of his division barracks. 'Didn't you get the promotion yesterday? You should have told her yesterday.'

'I came straight her after my new captain told me' said the green pony tailed swordsman. The Captain shook his head in disbelief. He had heard the rumours but never quite believed them. Squad 6 barracks was only a 5 minute walk away and it was a straight path from here to there. This caused him to start coughing so violently his cigars fell out his mouth.

'You better head back.' he said, wiping some specks of blood from his chin onto his white sleeve and picking up his cigars from the floor. 'Your captain will be wondering where you are.'

'Suppose' said the Lieutenant, yawning and heading off on the long journey back to his division. The Captain lay back and closed his eyes to the sky and thought to himself that the Gotei 13 was getting more and more filled with strange characters these days. He kept thinking this thought as he heard the sound of the Lieutenant walk through the paper walls of 13th division barracks and into the womens showers. Over the sound of women screaming he could just make out the Lieutenants voice asking which was to 6th squad HQ. This was definitely a very interesting time to be a Captain indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

When Luffy awoke he felt great. His head was a little fuzzy on what happened last night but he felt sure that he should have been injured. Maybe it was all just a dream. Looking at his desk he saw a couple empty plates and a bunch of wrappers. Maybe what he had to eat last night gave him strange dreams. He must admit though, it was a pretty cool dream. He was running around swinging a sword bigger than himself and fighting strange black creatures wearing giant masks. Then he remembered that something bad happened to his sisters. A burst of energy ran through his body and he threw himself from his bed and ran down the stairs without even getting dressed.

Downstairs was a mess. Rubble was spread across the carpet and a large hole was torn in the wall leading out to the street. There were already a few people gathered outside watching the scene. There were two police men in the street talking to his father who was currently dressed in a pink fluffy dressing gown and pink fuzzy swan slippers.

'Calm down sir and tell us what happened' said one of the officers.

'I already told you! A truck crashed into our house last night, now let me go get dressed. I'll come down to the station with you once I have my make-up on.' This remark caused a puzzled expression to appear on the officers face, but then he just shrugged it off. The other police officer felt a tugging on his sleeve and looked down to see Rika shoving a plate of rice balls towards him with a smile on her face. The officer politely took one and bit into it. He smiled as he chewed into it but a strange expression crept over his face as the strange flavour of Rika's sugary rive balls hit him, and he ran inside the house, up the stairs past Luffy and into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

'Mugi-chan' shouted Luffy's dad, 'Take your sisters to school then get back here and tidy this mess up. If I ever find out who done this I'll sue their ass off, ruining my lovely home.'

Luffy jumped over the banister and ran bare foot across the rubble strewn carpet before jumping through the hole in his wall and landing a double footed fly kick on his father's back. 'I told me your not allowed to call me that' he yelled at his the top of his lungs. His kick sent his father flying forward and, if you remember he was talking face to face with a police man then you should realise this was rather shocking for the officer involved. 'Plus I have to go to school too, or don't you care about my education?' The older Kurosaki picked himself up and ran towards his son and swung a karate chop to his son's chest who blocked it with his elbow, grabbed his arm and stepped in towards his fathers chest and tried to throw him over his shoulder. The older male was quick to react though and instead wrapped his arms around Luffy's chest, dropped down then pushed off with his legs, lifting his son over his head in a suplex and crashing the boys head onto the pavement.

All this happened in less than a few seconds, leaving the crowd standing around confused. The officer who had been hit finally regained his composure, and was calling over his radio for back-up to get its ass over here and help break-up a fight between a weirdo in a pink fluffy dressing-gown and a teenage boy in nothing but his boxers.

Rika, who was standing there with a plate of rice balls in hand just watching all this go on, felt a hand on her back and she turned to see her sister with her school bag on waving her thumb meaning they should just go now. Rika dashed into the house to grab her bag then ran back out. Realising she still had three rice balls left she went to where her brother and father were grappling on the ground. Currently Bentham was sitting on top of Luffy and had his son in a headlock, but Luffy was attempting to gnaw his old man's wrist off. As she reached them they stopped rolling around and the headlock was released slightly and Luffy opened his mouth, letting his dad pull his wrist out. She bent over and placed a rice ball straight in Luffy's mouth then looked at her plate, nodded to her self, then shoved the other two in there as well. Luffy chewed the rice balls and swallowed them down. He was the only one in the family who could stomach her cooking but then again he could eat almost anything and more often than not would eat almost anything. He looked up to smile at her but instead he felt two fingers slip into his mouth and felt his father pull his cheeks apart, starting the fight all over again. The two male Kurosaki men continued like this for fifteen minutes before they were finally broken up by a police riot squad.

It was lunch time at Karakura high school when Luffigo finally walked in to his classroom. Everyone was sitting round their desks eating their lunch boxes. The first thing he heard when he entered was someone shout 'Luuufffyyy!!!' at the top of their voice and could see his friend Helmepeigo Assano running towards him. Without thinking he swung his satchel in front of him and it took Helmepeigo straight across the cheek, sending him sprawling face first into somebody's curry lunch, going straight into his eyes.

'My god, your annoying' said Luffy, scratching the back of his head. It was rather strange of Luffigo to treat one of his friends this way but that was the way the relationship between him and Helmepeigo. Despite having known the guy since he started high school and hanging about with him most days, he couldn't help but hit the guy every time he seen him. It might sound cruel of Luffy but the truth was most people in their class felt the exact same way.

'Calm down, calm down you two' laughed Mizuiro Cobima (aka Coby) as he held out a water bottle which Helmepeigo snatched out of his hand and poured into his eyes. 'What kept you this morning? We passed by your house to pick you up but there was a hole in the wall and you and your dad were being pulled away by the police into a van.'

'Oh that.' Luffy started scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. 'You know, the usual. He called me Mugi-chan and no-ones allowed to do that anymore. Well except for you-know…'

The three friends fell silent for a second and gulped. Yes, they did know extremely well who called him that and got away with it.

Luffy put his bag on his desk and pulled out his chair but felt it bump into something so he looked up… and up…

'Oh hey Chadji.'

'Hey Luffigo' Said Luffigo's best friend and the only one in school that had as bad a reputation as him in fighting and delinquency, which was unfair as he never started a fight but ended a lot of them. He also had a reputation for being dual natured. As he was calm and almost silent most of the time but he had a chivalrous side to him as well as a hidden perverted and lecherous side to him. He was at least a good foot taller than Luffy and had long dirty blonde hair that covered one eye of his constantly. He was the second tallest student at the school and was one of the three strongest students, tying with Luffy for second place.

'So what exactly happened then Luffy?' asked Coby.

Luffy thought back to last night, but it was all kind of fuzzy. He as sure he had helped the ghost out but he wasn't sure about the rest of the night. None of his family remembered the monster attack and they claimed it was just a truck crash. He also couldn't find his cool Buster-Sword anywhere so he decided it must have just been a dream. He probably hit his head in the truck crash and made all of it up in his own mind.

'Yo! Mugi-chan!' A book flew through the air and knocked Luffy on the side of his head knocking him out of his thoughts. There, standing in the doorway was the most terrifying creature in the entire school. None-other than Luffy's child-hood friend and the only person in the school who could kick both Luffy's and Chadji's asses, probably even at the same time. She was a small blue haired girl that Luffy met when his mom took him to kendo classes when they were younger and she beat him so bad he dropped out and took up boxing, kickboxing and karate so he could get strong enough to defeat her. After several months of training he went back and asked her for a fight but she just smashed him over the head with her wooden sword before he could even get into his crane kick stance. After that they became good friends and would walk each other to their martial arts classes and meet up afterwards to spar, mostly ending in her victory. She even took to calling him Mugi-chan like his mum did but after her death they drifted apart until they met up again in high school. She was now the only one apart from their teacher that could keep Luffy and Chadji in line.

'Hey Tatskuina. What's the matter?'

The girl had a pissed look on her face as she ran her fingers through her spiky blue hair. 'The new girl is looking for you. Hime-chan won't be happy when she knows you've been chatting to other girls.'

'But I haven't even met any new girl yet.' said Luffy scratching the side of his head. Before he could think any further on the matter Chadji's foot came crashing down on the top of Luffy's head and smashed him face-first through his desk into the floor. Chadji picked him up by the neck and held him close to his face. His eyes were blazing with fire. Everyone knew that he was the one who loved the ladies. Its not fair that Luffy already had a girl crazy about him but now the fool had another one interested in him.

'Excuse me but can you put my friend down.' Asked a soft voice behind them. They turned around and standing there in front of them was a small blue haired girl in a Karakura-High uniform.

Chadji was so surprised that he dropped Luffy right out of his grasp. His heart began to flutter and his vision became blurred. _Who is this angelic beauty standing in front of me. I must find out her name so I can write a thousand sonnets in her name. _He opened his mouth to ask.

'Who the heck are you then? Do I know you?'

Chadji's jaw dropped as his best friend interrupted him. Luffy was being rude to the new girl. When he got the chance he would beat the crap out of him.

'Don't you remember me Luffigo? Miss Vivi Kuchiki. From last night. You helped me with my job.' And she winked at him twice in an over-the-top fashion.

Luffy stood there scratching his head trying to think, the he suddenly realised and slammed his fist into his palm the way anime character do when they remember something. 'Oh yeah! My dream girl!'

'EEEEEEGGGGGHHHHH!' shouted the entire class. Almost everyone in the class was secretly listening in on this and most of them thought Luffy had the sex drive of …. well nothing. Even snails showed more interest in the opposite sex than him. That and his extreme breast-o-phobia.

Vivi looked confused at his statement and this reaction but decided to shrug it off. She had already figured out that Luffigo was a little … eccentric. 'I need to talk to you so come outside when you get a minute.' She leaned close to his ear and whispered to him 'tell anyone else about what happened last night and I'll … uh …' she wasn't very good at threats. 'not be very happy had hit you or something.' Then she just ran out the classroom shouting 'Meet you outside in a bit.'

Several seconds past in complete silence as everyone processed what just happened. It even looked to them like she whispered sweet nothings into his ear. She didn't but that's what it looked like to them.

As Luffy watched her leave he felt two hands clamp onto his shoulders and slammed him down into his chair so hard the legs buckled slightly. Chadji and Tatskuina were both looking pissed.

'How exactly do you know this girl Luffy. The only girl you're allowed to get that friendly with is Hime-chan' said Tatskuina.

'Where did you meet her?' asked Chadji.

'Eh, well, in my room.' The grips and Luffy's arms increased severely.

'TELL US EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED!' said Tatskuina in almost a whisper that somehow was louder than anything Luffigo had heard and chilled his very soul to the core. Both Tatskuina and Chadji were both practically glowing with killing intent.

Luffy frantically tried to remember what had happened last night but it was all still a little hazy. 'Well I was in my room and she snuck in through the window … there was another girl in the room … she explained some stuff to me that I don't remember then she sent the other girl away …' so far it sounded like nothing untoward had happened, and no-one thought that Luffy was lying. The evil auras surrounding those two seemed to shrink slightly. 'Then I had an out of body experience' and the auras grew larger again.

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN' asked the blue-haired demon.

Things were getting muddled for Luffy and panicking wasn't going to help him remember. 'Eh well I … there was a lot of screaming and I pulled out my giant weapon … there was a bit of a fight going on … I also had a sheath for my weapon … Vivi was bleeding … um, one of use got penetrated … she ended up with her clothes all covered in white … then she got taken away by a man in a big coat, hat and a cane who came to collect her. Then I got sleepy and went to bed. That's all I remember happening.' Luffy smiled to himself for remembering all those details. 'Did I do good?'

While this indeed is what happened you can see how it could be taken out of context. If you cant try reading it again. If you still don't you're a very innocent little child and shouldn't be reading fan-fiction. If you did the first time you read then it you are a massive pervert and need help. ME TOO! Welcome to the club!

Chadji, who was also a massive pervert, thought the same thing first time and to him it sounded like Luffy just admitted to forcing himself on a lady of the night then let her get chased away by a pimp. After all she did mention something about Luffy and her job and Luffy did wear protection. Chadji grabbed Luffy by the neck and shook him about so hard Luffy's face turned purple.

Luckily Tatskuina wasn't such a massive perv and realised something was wrong. How could Luffy have done all this with his massive boob-o-phobia, after all he always seemed to have that mini-freak-out when something even slightly erotic happened. She realised this and stopped Chadji from his assault and prised her child hood friend from the giants grasp.

'Luffy, did you or did you not do anything perverted?'

'Of course not!'

Tatskuina smiled. She never thought Luffy was that kind of person. Besides, if anyone was going to get it together with Luffy she wanted it to be Hime-chan. She laughed with relief and slapped a hand on his back. 'As if Luffy could even see a girls bra.'

Luffy froze on the spot and Tatskuina looked straight at him. He sweated. His face turned red. His breathing became ragged. His left eye twitched rapidly. Suddenly he burst into tears and curled up into the foetal-position. He was rocking violently from side-to-side. Instantly she knew something had happened.

'I saw nothing. It was an accident. I just wanted to check something. I felt nothing.' Luffy was crying tears down his face. 'I didn't look at her chest. I didn't see a light blue lacy bra with a strawberry print. I didn't, didn't, didn't. It was an accident. I saw nothing, felt nothing, saw nothing. Aaarrrggghh.'

Tatskuina picked up her friend from the floor and dusted him off and pulled out a tissue from her bag and wiped away tears from his face. 'There there Mugi-chan. I believe you. I know it was an accident. Its all okay. I'm not mad and I won't let Chadji beat you up anymore.'

Luffy stopped crying and suddenly brightened up. 'Really? You ain't gonna hit me for that?'

'No I won't. I promise.' Suddenly the evil aura returned once more. 'BUT I DON'T FORGIVE YOU FOR HURTING HIME-CHAN'S FEELINGS. SHE MIGHT CRY WHEN SHE HEARS THIS AND WHEN SOMEONE MAKES HER CRY I MAKE THEM CRY.' With this said she punched Luffy straight in the face sending him flying straight towards the window.

_My God_, thought Chadji, _she has the most elegant fighting style Ive ever seen. Her movements are amazing. Plus the way she stands up for her friend is so touching. Wait! Maybe they're more than just friends. There was a certain rumour about those two, wasn't there. They could be …_

'You okay there Chadji?' asked Tatskuina leaning over towards him. His one exposed eye had turned pink and swollen so much it seemed to jump out the socket. It didn't even look round any more and had turned slightly heart shaped. Thousands of unspeakably filthy pictures were flashing around in his head. His entire face was glowing red now.

'Oh. I'm fine' he said. His chronic shyness kicked in and his head became so over loaded that he just keeled over and fainted.

Tatskuina looked down at his prone body and scratched her head at what happened. 'Must have hit him too by accident. Oh Well!'

She left the classroom to go look for her best friend. She never noticed (or more likely chose to ignore) Helmepeigo and Cobima hiding in the corner, hugging each other tightly and crying on each others shoulders while trying not to make eye contact with her.

'LUFFIGO-KUN!!!' shrieked a high-pitched voice from the corridor. In walked a beautiful, tall busty orange haired girl holding a chocolate and radish cake. She gazed around the room and looked slightly disappointed when she couldn't see him but she cheered up when she caught sight of her best friend. 'Tatskuina-chan, have you seen Luffigo-kun. I was told he showed up and I have just finished my Sorry-Your-House- Got-Crashed-Into-By-A-Truck-Cake. Have you seen him?'

Tatskuina swallowed hard. Even though she wasn't actually Luffy's girlfriend, nobody had the heart to tell Hebihime that, and they all pretty much acted like she was (except Luffy who was too dumb to notice). She was probably more of an airhead than Luffy, but she was as possesive as hell when it came to her crush. 'Actually he is out talking to the new girl right now.'

The smile never left Hebihime's face but her hands clenched so tightly that the cake exploded in a shower of radish and chocolate. 'Oh!' Tatskuina sighed to herself. Between keeping Luffy from doing perverted things with the new girl to stopping Hebihime from doing something stupid about Luffy's new friendship with her, it would be a long days work for the blue haired kendo champion.

Several floors below Vivi was thinking back to what happened last night. She remembered having a conversation with the rather strange shop-keeper that was chasing her around. After she had finally calmed down and he had stopped trying to grope her body he had told her that he was simply trying to offer her a new gigai to help with recovering. After much persuading she had eventually let him lead her back to his store where he brought out a gigai that looked exactly like her and told her to put it on.

'Why do you have a gigai that looks like me?'

'Oh, don't worry about that' he laughed. 'I make it a business to keep extra gigai of the important people from soul society just in case something bad happens and I can make a small profit.'

'But why do you have one for me then? I'm not even a ranked officer and this was my very first long term assignment to the real world. I'm not important at all.'

The red haired men shot her a sly smile from underneath his straw hat. 'Oh is that so? And here I was, sure that you were in fact the younger sister of the squad six captain and therefore a member of the renown Kuchiki family.' He gave a small laugh and simply shrugged his shoulders. Vivi squirmed slightly at being exposed. It was indeed true that she probably was well known in soul society but she never hung on the fact she was a noble. After all, she still considered herself a commoner and remembered growing up in the Inuzuri district of Rukongai with her childhood friend Zoro. 'Also we both know that you are, in fact, as strong as a seated officer and definitely shouldn't have been defeated by a standard hollow. That means the only reason you lost was because the spiritual pressure of Luffigo interfered with your abilities. It has a bad habit of doing that.'

'Wait!' Vivi sat straight upright and her eyes shot wide open. 'You know him?' Her eyes were fixed onto the green and white striped hat on his head and she remembered that she had seen it before. Luffy had one exactly the same but in black when he transformed into a shinigami.

The man noticed what she was looking at and took his hat off and spun it on his fingers. 'Of course I know of him. I would have to be a fool not to notice the giant spiritual pressure. I can tell you that it would be even larger if it weren't for me. See this.' He turned his hat over in his hands a couple of times. 'it's actually a device for surpressing spiritual pressure, similat to what the current 11th squad captain uses. You should know by now that all captains and leuitenants have a limiter placed on them when they come to the real world. It causes too much trouble and attracts a large number of Hollows, so imagine a human with equal or even possibly greater pressure walking around town, unable to surpress it himself and with no limiter. I gave one of these to Luffy when he was but a child and told him it was a lucky hat that would make his dreams come true and keep the people around him safe. As I hoped he wore it every day, never taking it off. Well, until the … incident.'

'Incident?' asked Vivi.

'It's none of your concern right now, and not really my place to tell you. Ask Luffy and he might tell you one day. But afterwards he stopped wearing his hat so I had to create a second one and implant it directly onto his soul to prevent anything similar happening again.'

'Does that mean you know Luffy?'

The store-owner put his own hat back on. 'Yes and no. I met him when he was a child but I never told him who or what I was and its most likely that he has forgotten about me by now.' While Vivi thought it would be hard to forget someone like this weirdo, Luffy had forgotten her in the space of one night. 'I gave him the first hat after a request by his parents who came to me about his ability to sense spirits. I mean its not like I already knew them before that. No sir. Why would someone like me know a normal human couple like them. After all, that's most definitely what they both were, definitely human. Dahahahaha' A large sweat drop appeared on the back of Vivi's head. She could tell he was definitely hiding something, but she would not press her luck when he was already helping her out.

After some more conversation he started giving her a few more tools for her new job as Luffy's boss such as a skull glove and kikanshinki (memory replacement device) and promised to get a gikongan (artificial soul) soon. He offered to let her stay the night but said she couldn't live there until her powers returned. She would need to stay elsewhere but he did give her something that might persuade Luffy into helping her but warned her not to open it yet. After that he left to allow her to slip into her gigai and get some rest.

Just as she was about to go to bed she bust out the room and ran after him. 'Wait! You've done so much to help me and I don't even know your name.'

'Oh!' he said, looking shocked and scratching the back of his head 'I thought that maybe Captain Kuchiki would have warned you about me. I once was kind of infamous you know. Anyway it's Shanks Urahara of the Urahara shop.'

'Why were you infamous?'

'It doesn't matter now, it was before your time. After all, now I'm just a mere honest, handsome, perverted businessman.'

Suddenly a loud scream above her brought her back to the present. She just made out '… MAKES HER CRY I MAKE THEM CRY' when she looked up and saw the outline of Luffy fly through a second floor window and crash to the ground a few feet in front of her. She walked over to the crater he made landing and pulled him out of it. A few seconds later he started to recover. It was amazing what this boys soul and body could do. After patting himself down and realizing Tatskuina wouldn't punish him for that incident anymore and it was now over and done with. You could put your faith in her that she wouldn't hold a grudge if she already kicked your ass. He just wanted to get his mind off what just happened for the moment when he realised Vivi asked to talk to him and he was now standing in front of her.

'Oh Yeah. You wanted to talk.'

Vivi almost felt her jaw hit the floor. I mean come on. How the hell can a guy like this even exist. His head wasn't in the clouds, it was face first into a giant pile of cotton candy ingesting as much of it as possible. 'Yeah… yeah. I want to talk to you about last night. You see… something bad happened. I may have, kind of, sort of lost my powers. I'm no longer a shinigami. I can't go home right now.'

'Well that sucks.'

'Yes it does. So now I need your help. When I tried to give you my powers last night you took almost all of it. Now I'm not the shinigami, you are.'

'No I'm not!' said Luffy.

'Eh!' Vivi was shocked. How could he deny it. If her powers weren't in her he must still have them, that was all there was to it. 'What do you mean by your not? You are!'

'But you're the one who said that you were invisible. And I don't have my Buster Sword anymore.'

'Zanpakuto.'

'God bless you.'

'Your sword, you fool' screamed Vivi. 'It's called a zanpakuto, not a buster sword.'

'Really? I just thought with all the black and the big sword I could pull off a half decent Cloud cosplay. Well it would be kinda hard if I'm invisible. But as you can see I'm not.'

That was it! She snapped. She fished her glove out of her pocket and punched the fool in the face as hard as she could. Luffy's body just fell down into a heap but the force knocked his spirit out. There he was in the same outfit that he wore last night. While he was looking at his bodies (both his spiritual body and the one that was lying face down) Vivi couldn't help but look at the unusual shinigami. She looked at the black straw hat on his head and at the huge sword on his back. This was him with the majority if his powers sealed and he already had a zanpakuto larger than any in the Gotei 13. Maybe what Mister Urahara said about him having power equal to the captains was true. But that didn't matter right now.

'Listen you. I helped you out so you damn well owe me. Now until I get my powers back you need to perform my duties. Got it?'

'Don't wanna!' Luffy pouted like a seven year old girl.

At this point Vivi was almost pulling her hair out. 'WHAT? WHY NOT?'

'Jobs are boring' he replied and went to walk away. 'I'm gonna go sneak into the kitchen while I'm invisible.'

'Disintegrate, you black dog of Rondanini!! Look upon yourself with horror and tear out your own throat! Bakudo number 9, Horin.' A long orange whip shot out of Vivi's fingers and wrapped itself around Luffy's waist. Even with her power almost gone she could still pull off low level kido. A quick tug was all it took to surprise him and knock him off his feet. Vivi opened her phone to check something then started to walk out the school, dragging Luffy's shinigami form behind her.

Somewhere in a darkened room in Soul Society, a super secret society who pulled the strings met to discuss their evil leaders secret plan. It was a small group composed of those who pledged allegiance to their leader. A group who paid no heed to the laws or rules of Central 46, knowing that they themselves could bend and twist the captains, and therefore the whole Gotei 13 to their evil will.

'…and recon has found that it is indeed stored in the Urahara shop in Karakura town' said a polite yet forceful voice as a shadowy figure handed a photograph to its boss. Two eyes shot open in the darkness and peered down at the perfect sphere in the picture in its hands. A soft finger touched the photograph and slowly traced the shape around the sphere, the eyes entranced by the object of its desire.

'It will soon be within my grasp. All I desire will soon be mine.' The figure at the head of the table cocked its head back and gave a throaty chuckle, steepling its hands and twiddling its fingers in a way that would make Mr Burns proud.

From the other side of the room light appeared from an opened door and an extremely busty figure appeared, silhouetted in the light. The figure reached out to the side and flipped on the light switch. Several figures in the room were temporarily blinded by this sudden change of lighting levels and the figure at the top dived under the table with a small cry of 'Naaagghh.'

The orange haired figure standing in the doorway giggled to herself as she seen her friends rubbing their eyes and swearing under their breath. 'I thought you were going to stop pretending the Shinigami Women's Association was your own evil cabal Madam President. Its been going on for over a week now.' Nami-moto wasn't going to let the 11th division lieutenant get too carried away again. She remembered when they spent two months holding the Shinigami Women's Association meetings in French maid outfits just because she thought it was funny and they looked pretty. Occasionally the President would still get the 12th division lieutenant in the costume for their meetings while she served tea, and one look towards the corner told Nami-moto that she was wearing it today.

A small pink head poked up from underneath the table and started to make hissing noises at her like a scolded cat. 'Dammit, Jugs! I can do whatever the hell I want, I'm the President!' While normally Nami would get mad at someone acting this spoiled, this little girl was an exception. Nami knew who her father was and it was amazing that she had managed to grow up this normal. The little pink-haired monster snapped her fingers and her own personal maid appeared behind her holding a bowl of jelly babies which she plunged her hand into and proceeded to shove a fistful down her throat. 'We are planning our next big heist from the Urahara shop. If you ain't got anything to con-tribbla-bute then get the hell out.' (She has trouble with big words)

Nami walked over to the table and looked down at the photograph. 'A Gobstopper? You plan on violating the laws of central 46 and buy a gobstopper from a banished ex-captain?'

'No! We're gonna rob the old geezer! No one comes between me and candy. That gobstoppah 'sposed ta be the tastiest soul en-hana-sing candy ever. I WANT IT.'

Nami's expression turned evil as a thought sprung into her mind. 'So if someone who was on patrol in the real world were to drop in at Karakura town and steal this it would be worth a lot to you?' she said with Yen symbols appearing in her eyes.

A puff of smoke appeared where the young president was sitting and suddenly where she was sitting was a tall, slim and extremely busty woman with pink hair leaning back in her chair, the litte girl was nowhere in sight. An evil look passed between lieutenant Nami-moto and the new arrival, and evil grins were shared between the two. 'It would be worth… say the entire Shinigami Men's Association's budget for the next three months.'

'Could you arrange that with the Director?'

'I got her wrapped round my little finger.'

'Then it's a deal' and at that the two women shook hands. Nami turned on her heels and walked out the room, giving a little wave over her shoulder to the rest of the women and made straight for 10th division barracks to go bully her captain into letting her patrol swing by Karakura town. A small puff of smoke and the President was a girl once more. Most of the Shinigami Women's Association let out a sigh. Finally, something to get her out of her bad mood since her own personal Marimo had left 11th division for a Lieutenant position. Her little crush on him was not so secret. If Nami could get her mind off it they would gladly turn a blind eye to this illegal behaviour (as if they had a choice in doing otherwise).

When Vivi finally let go of Luffy she was feeling drained. Such a simple kido shouldn't have taken so much energy. She must recuperating her powers slower than she expected. She pulled out her cell phone and checked she made it in time. Luffy was picking himself up off the ground and looking around to see where he was. 'Why are we in a park?' he asked.

Vivi turned and looked the young boy in the eyes. 'If you refuse your duty I'll show you what that really means.' She pointed towards the swings and Luffy turned and looked in that direction. A young boy ran past the swing set and it took a moment for him to notice the chain hanging from his chest. Behind him was a large spider like creature with a white mask. A hollow, just like the ones from last night. He reached behind him and pulled out his 'Buster Sword' and was about to rum towards the boy when he felt a hamd clamp onto him and stop him in his tracks.

'I thought you said you weren't going to be a soul reaper? If you let him die I'll let you walk away from this forever but if you want to save him you must be prepared to save every soul you come across. That is the duty of a soul reaper.'

Without even turning around Luffy slapped the hand off his arm and ran straight at the monster and swung his sword at it. The blade went right through the hollow and soon it dissolved into the air. He walked over to the cowering boy and lifted him up by the collar. 'If you don't want to get chased by monsters like that then just hurry up and go to soul society.' He knocked the end of his sword against the boys forehead just like Vivi had done last night.

'That hurt dammit' said the little boy ghost.

'Not as much as getting eaten by a hollow. Now get lost.'

Vivi walked up to Luffy as as the plus turned into a butterfly and disappeared into the sky. 'You know now that you're a shinigami you should try to make a spirits last moments more peaceful.'

'I already told you I'm not going to be a shinigami' said Luffy who was struggling to put his sword back into its scabbard. It was amazing that he pulled it out in one movement despite all the laws of physics saying he shouldn't be able to, but this is the bleach universe where the laws of phisics bow down to both the laws of bad-assery and the laws of extreme fashion sense.

Vivi grabbed him by the collar of his shuhakusho and pulled him so close to her face he hurt his head as it banged off her forehead. 'You! I told you it was your duty. You saved him. You should have let him die. Are you just going to let any soul you cant see just suffer. What the hell!' You ….' but the rest of that sentence was cut off as Luffy put his hand on her face and pushed her away so he could talk.

'Hey, I said I wouldn't be a soul reaper but I never said I wouldn't save pluses or fight hollows.' From the confused look on Vivi's face even someone as unintelligent as Luffy could tell he should explain. He reached up and touched the black straw hat on his head. The painful memory he was feeling must have shown on his face as Vivi let him go. 'I used to have a hat like this when I was younger but I lost it after…'

Vivi could remember Mr Urahara talking about something in Luffy's past. She let him go and placed a comforting hand on his arm. 'Go on.'

'I had a lucky hat when I was younger and was told that as long as I wore it I would be able to keep my family safe. I wore it every day. Besides my family it seemed to be the most treasured thing in my life. My mum and my friend even called my Mugi-chan after my mugiwara, my straw hat. But when … but after it got …. and then my ….' he was obviously struggling with finding the right words. 'Anyway. After I lost my hat I thought I needed to become stronger to protect the ones I love. To become strong enough to protect everyone. And now I have that power. You gave it to me. So I will protect everyone. My family, my friends, strangers, pluses and even you. I'll hunt down hollows and send pluses to soul society. But nothing you say will ever convince me to be a shinigami. If I do that I cant protect you.'

Vivi was confused. He was saying he would do everything a shinigami would do but wouldn't be one in name. And he said he was protecting her. 'What do you mean protect me?'

'Well if they find out im doing your job for you you might get in trouble and lose your job. I don't want to do that to a friend.'

'Friend?' Vivi asked, her hand shooting up to cover her face from the surprise.

'Yeah. We're friends now, aren't we?' He was saying that they were friends like it was obvious, yet she hadn't even known him 24-hours. But the look on his face showed that for once he was being entirely serious. She had never been able to make friends after she had become a noble. The only people who she could truly consider her friends were her squad lieutenant and the boy she grew up with. But Luffy was calling her a friend now. 'Yeah I suppose we are Luffy.'

'So you pretend that you're still a shinigami and I'll be your assistant. If you make sure I'm out my body when a job needs doing I'll do it. I can do all the fighting and you can do all the paperwork. Together we will be the best team ever. What do you say?' he asked and stuck out a hand.

She thrust her own hand into his and shook it tightly. 'Sound good! You do the fighting and I do the paperwork. That sound f … wait a minute. You just don't want to do any paperwork don't you. That's the one reason you don't want to be a shinigami isn't it?'

'BUT IT HURTS MY HEAD WHEN I HAVE TO THINK THAT MUCH!' he shouted, clutching the sides of his head and dancing around like he was suffering a migrain. But Vivi had to admit this plan might just work out. Though Luffy knew she would get in trouble for what she did he didn't know just how serious it was. This way Luffy would fight and no one would suspect anything was amiss with her assignment. If she could regain her powers soon then she might just make it out of this without anyone in soul society finding out, especially Captain Kuchiki.

'Well I suppose I did shake your hand so lets just go with that then.'

'So I can be your assistant then rather than a shinigami?' asked an excited Luffy.

'Why don't we call you a … substitute shinigami? That's what my Captain said they used to be called in the old days.'

At this the orange haired idiot seemed to finally calmed down. 'Substitute shinigami, huh? That sounds kinda cool, I 'spose.' Then his expression changed into one of panic. 'Oh no! Lunch was over 10 minutes ago! We better get back before the teacher notices.'

At that both of them made a mad dash back to school. They were in such a rush neither of them noticed that in the trees was a masked figure in the tree, watching all the time they were talking.

'So this is it?' said the shadowy masked figure to himself. 'I was right. He has become a shinigami. This could be most troublesome. I shall have to do something tomorrow.'

The figure stood there for a few more seconds staring at their dissapearing backs before there was a slight distortion in the air and the figure was no longer there.

Back at Karakura High School Luffy's friends had been sent out to go look for him and the new girl. Chadji was cursing his luck. After he regained conciousness he was told to go look for the idiot that caused him to faint in front of the girls. What was worse was that he was paired with Helmepiego while Cobima was with the red haired lesbian and Hime-chan was with Tatskuina. He would have killed to be with one of the girl but being the kind of guy he was he just nodded silently and followed orders. After about two or three minutes he saw Tatskuina tare down the corrider he was currently searching with a worried look on her face.

'Chadji! We found Luffy but he's passed out and wont wake up. We gotta get a school nurse quick.' One snap of Chadji's fingers and a nod of the head sent Helmepeigo running off to find the school nurse. Inside is own head he was cursing aloud. _Damn! Why can't a girl worry that much about me. I hate that bastard. He gets all the girls and he isn't even trying._ Of course he couldn't say this out loud so instead he just asked 'Where is he now?'

'I left Hime-chan to look after him while I came to get you' she gasped, still a little out of breath.

A panicked look shot over Chadji's face, causing Kuina to give him a puzzled look as if to ask what was wrong. 'Do you think it's a good idea to leave an unconscious Luffy with Hebihime?'

The same panicked look was now shared between the two. Both of them knew just how obsessed she was with the young boy. Both of the turned and sprinted back down the hall, Tatskuina leading the way. If the made it quickly them might be able to stop Luffy from being subjected to a bit of female-on-male sexual groping.

It was late at night in the Kurosaki household. The wall had been patched up by the city council and Mr Kurosaki was eventualy released from his holding cell after the officers reasoned that sticking a bunch of hardened criminals in with a weird cross dresser who forces them to dance ballet non-stop might be considered cruel and unusual punishment. (Which it was indeed, for they would be sued a month later by all the people in the holding cell. The court found in their favour and the police department had to pay out several million yen for psychiatric bills.) When Luffy got home the whole family had to put up with Rika's home cooking because everyone forgot to phone in a take-away in the confusion.

Luffy was upstairs in his bedroom working on some math problems and was applying heat rub to his chest. By the time he and Vivi made it back to school his body was in the nurses office and when he slipped back into it he felt as if his six pack had been roughly squeezed and his nipples almost torn off. When he mentioned it Tatskuina just looked embarrassed, Chadji got mad and Hebihime ran off red-faced.

After he finished rubbing lotion on his body he closed his text book and pulled out his headphones (he had been listening to some Bad Religion) when he caught the sound of something coming from his closet. He went over and opened the door but was promptly crushed to the ground by something pink and blue falling onto of him.

Vivi looked down and notice that she had fallen ass first onto Luff's face and she hadn't put her pyjama bottoms on yet (it was hard to get changed in such a small space without banging your elbows and making lots of noise). She lifted herself off him and could see the panic attack start to hit him when he realised her panties were rubbing against his face. Quick as a flash she whipped out her kikanshinki and flashed it in his face causing him to be stunned and forget the last two minutes (seeing how he dealt with the female form, she figured it was the kind thing to do).

While she was out in his room she pulled the pyjamas she stole from Rika on properly then opened the box Mr Urahara had given her for just this moment. When she read the letter she was shocked. So that was the old mans idea. He truly was an evil one. She grabbed Luffy and stood him in front of the wardrobe and wrapped his hand around the handle before grabbing the package, ducking under Luffy's arm and pulling the door over behind her. Then she just needed to wait a minute till the kikanshinki wore off.

About forty seconds later Luffy snapped back into conciousness. After a second of wondering how he went from doing math to standing in front of his wardrobe he just shrugged it off and opened it, figuring he probably wanted to get something out of it. As the door slid to the side he found Vivi's face staring back at him.

He jumped backwards a few feet and stood staring open mouthed at the girl. 'Why the hell are you in my closet?' he squeeled in a rather high pitched panicky voice.

'I have nowhere else to go so I'm staying here' said the little shinigami.

'But, you can't! What would Chadji and Tatskuina do to me if they found out I had a girl staying in my room?'

'Probably nothing as bad as if they found out you threw a poor little defenceless girl out into the cold dark night all by herself. Besides…' Vivi swung her hand in front of herself and performed sai, the same kido spell she had done to Luffy the first night they met. Quickly Luffy found himself locked up in the same position with his hands stuck behind him and his face stuck on the floor. Vivi walked towards him and pulled a portable DVD player out of her little box and put it right in front of his face. '… I got this from an aquaintance and was told it would help me stay here. You see, I have six DVDs here and how you react will determine which ones I force you to watch.' She had a quick look at the list as she didn't know what a DVD was but Mr Urahara had left precise instructions. 'If you agree to let me stay then you can pick between Full Metal Alchemist, Samurai Champloo and Lupin the 3rd, while if you say I can't I will put on either something called Queen's Blade, Ikki Tousen or Grenadier - the Senshi of Smiles.'

Luffy tried to think of a way out of this but couldn't. She had identified his two weaknesses, his compassion for his friends and his fear of the female form. Oh well. If you can't beat them, join them. 'Do you have Castle of Cagliostro?'

'I think so' said Vivi, reading the back of the DVDs. Eventually she found it and with some help from Luffy she found out how to put it on and the sat up till late at night watching DVDs together.

* * *

**Authors Notes: I really suck at ending my chapters**

**Okay, well I figured I should put this here since most writers here do and I didn't put it on the first chapter. Sorry this took so long but I have been having a real hard time IRL and have been in high demand with my family and friends meaning no time to myself so I made it extra long to make up for the delay. Next chapter wont take anywhere near as long, I swear. Well I suppose I better put a few notes here to explain some things.**

**Well, first off, If you don't know who is playing Isshin its Mr 2 aka Bon Clay/ Bon Kueri whose real name is Bentham and is one of the coolest characters in the series. And Luffy's sisters are played by Aisa the girl from Sky Island with the mantra ability and Rika who was the girl who Luffy and Coby met in Shell town and fed Zoro the horrible rice balls (hence the bad cooking in this story). Secondly, why Chadji is acting the way he is. He seems like Chad on the outside (quiet, shy and strong) but will act more like Sanji when he gets his powers but in the meantime you just have to make do with his filthy inner thoughts. Third, the whole Luffy being afraid of boobs is a kind of dig at how Ichigo's such a wimp when it comes to sexy girls like Rangiku and Yoruichi, except this is caused by Chadji and Tatskuina beating the crap out of him for the smallest dirty thoughts. It will be toned down in the next few chapters but will return when Yoruichi shows her true form (I pity him already). Fourth, the first three DVDs Vivi had are all extremely cool action series anime while the last three are all extremely heavy on the fan service (not that that's a bad thing though). Lastly, I picked Boa as Orihime rather than Nami as I'm a Boa-Luffy supporter and this way Orihime will be able to kick ass along with the rest of Team Luffy and Nami suits Matsumoto more. Same with Kuina. I thought it would be ironic that in a series about dead people she would be alive. I might even give her some powers and put her in the team heading to Soul Society if people think it's a good idea. Oh and Jewelery Bonney plays Yachiru incase it wasn't obvious. She would be good playing Nel but what are the chances I'll get that far.**

**Well next chapter Luffy gets a Mod Soul, Nami bullies her captain and the masked figure watching Luffy reveals himself. **

**If you have any input on the story or any casting suggestions then by all means I'm open to suggestions, but I have based people depending on their personalities rather than their powers or positions. For example, Buggy will play Mayuri rather than a scientist like Vegapunk or Hogback because we know nothing about Vegapunk and Hogback sucks, while Buggy has a twisted love/hate/mentor relationship with Shanks (Urahara) , wears make-up, can shoot his hands at people and is a bad guy we cant help but love (just like Mayuri). Feel free to suggest any character as not all the captains and lieutenants are decided 100% yet (especially Soi Fong and Kommamura). You could also suggest a possible shikai or bankai except for Luffy, Zoro, Wiper (playing Ikkaku) or the Byakuya character (who is a surprise) as I have their powers quite firmly in my mind (movie characters can and will be appearing). And I have no idea who plays yoruichi so till I know she is just playing herself and might remain the only original Bleach in this story.**

**Also, tell me if you want it to hurry up to get to the soul society arc or if you want some more real world stuff (such as Jango as Don Kanoji and my own original filler episode when the gang go on a trip with Isshin/Mr2 and Urahara/Shanks to a haunted beach house). Either way I will keep sliping in scenes of whats going on in Soul Society till the invasion so they don't get left out and to reveal who's playing who.**

**Okay enough ranting, see you next chapter**

**PS. Luffy was listening to Bad Religion cos its Ichigo's favourite band. Anyone who got the reference straight away deserves a cookie.**


End file.
